Moving in with someone is generally a huge step in your relationship, and there are a lot of things to consider before, during, and after the moving process to ensure you still want to live together and can do so happily. The cost of living in San Francisco is one of the highest in the world so renting an apartment or home is huge expense. Deciding to live together can help to bring living expenses down and is just one of the reasons couples can decide to move in together. While some people move in together relatively early in the relationship, others wait many years or even until after marriage to move in together. At what point in your relationship you decide to move in together will reveal what sorts of issues your relationship may have, as well as how to resolve those issues.
Early Relationship
If you are in the relatively early stages of the relationship (less than one year), moving in together will certainly reveal many things about your partner that you hadn’t experienced yet. Moving can be a stressful time for everyone, and is almost guaranteed to bring out a less pleasant side of someone, whether debating about where to put the litter box, demanding that one person get rid of their old college posters, or breaking a favorite vase. Moving in together will almost certainly be a true test of your relationship – hopefully it strengthens your relationship and brings you closer together. It can also be a helpful indicator that perhaps you just aren’t right for each other. It is especially important to have a discussion about what would happen if you were to break up. Although unpleasant, when it comes to renting or owning, you want to make absolutely sure things are fair to both parties. For example, if one partner decides to move out halfway through the lease, how will you continue to pay rent? If both names are on the lease, both parties are still technically responsible, even if you no longer live together. Conversations about bills and chores should also happen before move-in day.
Later Relationship
If you have been together for a few years and are perhaps engaged but not yet married, you likely already spend a great deal of time at each other’s current houses. This makes it easier to determine what life will be like when you officially move in together. Often, one person will already have brought over many items to their significant other’s house (clothing, toothbrush, etc.) and may treat it as a sort of second home. At this stage in your relationship, you likely will have already experienced the various quirks and habits of your partner and have grown accustomed or adapted to them. This means there are less likely to be unpleasant surprises once things are settled and you go through your daily routine together (hair in the shower drain? Toilet seat left up?). Moving in together later in the relationship is usually a big step, and indication that you plan to be together for some time. However, just as with couples in the early stages of their relationship, it is important to talk about worst-case scenarios and what would happen if the relationship ended. This is especially important if you are purchasing a house with someone. If both partners are on the application, both parties will be responsible for the mortgage, no matter what the status of your relationship is.
After Marriage
If you are planning to return from your honeymoon and immediately move into a new home (whether you lived together previously or not), you probably have piles and piles of wedding gifts that will somehow need to fit into your new home. In fact, there may now be three of each item – yours, your partner’s, and the one you received as a couple as a gift. Some people decide to start their new life together completely from scratch, and get rid of most of their former possessions with the intention of using items they received as gifts. Many couples know that they already have most household items they need, and instead ask friends and family members to contribute cash gifts towards a house purchase or other big expense. In either case, it will be important to have conversations about what will be moved and where long before the wedding day. Debating over what to keep and what to get rid of is an additional stressor that you will not want to add to your wedding day preparation.
Packing and Moving
Many difficult decisions need to be made when moving in with anyone, as both parties likely have most or all of the essentials already and there will not be need or space for two sets of everything in your new home. This means you will have to decide whose couch to get rid of, whose dishes, whose television, etc. Making these decisions can sometimes make one party feel undervalued, especially if their partner is insisting they give up most of their possessions. As with any relationship issue, compromise will be key. Of course, the quality of the items will be a very useful tool in deciding what to keep in the new house – choose the couch that is newer or in better condition, and the silverware set that isn’t missing any pieces. The harder choices will be those that have sentimental value, such as gifts, photos, or favorite decoration items.
The actual packing and moving process will likely be difficult as well. Let’s face it: no one likes packing. It is important to keep your possessions as well as your partner’s possessions safe and protected during the moving process. Everyone has different packing styles – some people want to find the cheapest, quickest method possible, looking for moving boxes on craigslist, finding free moving boxes in dumpsters, or finding used moving boxes. They may not have a method for packing, and just throw things into the box, hoping they won’t break. Others are more organized and disciplined, take the time to wrap breakable items with bubble wrap, and seek out the best place to get moving boxes in a variety of sizes. Moving in together is a big step and you don’t want to add stress to the situation by hunting down cardboard boxes. Your best bet is to rent plastic moving boxes from ZippGo. By renting our green moving boxes San Francisco couples have found they save time, money, and piece of mind and eliminate the stress that can come when two people are packing up their lives and moving in together. The last thing you want to do just before moving in together is argue about packing and moving, so simplify and order moving boxes from ZippGo.